Mustache bug sighting leads to accidental death
by Kent Roberts
As self-publisher Kent Roberts transitioned from Austin to Los Angeles, he noted that there were less human beards and more insect handlebar mustaches.
The first bug seen by Kent (see “Before Kent” picture) is believed by Kent Fauna & Flora Manager Kent Roberts to be a possible omen.
“Any time there is an insect death at Kent World Headquarters, we always scrutinize it to determine if the incident is a portent of ensuing calamity,” Kent explained between bites of oatmeal, his shirt off, his posture midway between mediocre and acceptable. “In this case, it was a message from the Aztec goddess Malinalxochitl, letting me know that I need to be careful to limit the collateral damage of my dreams,” Kent added as he poured coffee from his French press and looked out the window at the trash truck, marveling at its 5-MPH-stunt-driver-grade maneuvering.
Kent tried and failed to lend a helping hand to this mustachioed visitor. He captured the bug inside a cup and transported it outside.
Unfortunately, although its mustache made it appear very resourceful, the bug did not seem to understand how to get out of the cup. The next day, Kent went to bring the cup back inside and saw that the bug had passed away (see “After Kent” picture).
The specific cause of death is unknown, although many staffers at Kent HQ believe it probably was a victim of dehydration and heat exhaustion. No foul play is suspected.
Volume 14, Issue 2
THE 3AM WAKEUP CALL ISSUE
Editor-in-Chief: Kent Roberts
Interspecies Chaplain: Kent Roberts
Kent Cloud: TGIKent.com
Look both ways before crossing the street, especially if you plan to jaywalk.