Kent Roberts: Jackass or Cool Dude? The Debate Continues
I’m not really quite sure how to report on the debate. I guess the best way is to just present the points for each side along with some brief analysis, and then maybe we can get a somewhat cohesive understanding of the problems we’re looking at here in Kent, the benefits of his existence, and whether or not he is popular.
Side One: “Kent Is A Jackass.”
- Each month he distributes a publication “by and about [himself] and for the Brown community.” No one other than a complete jackass would do this. No matter how cool Kent is otherwise, he must overall be a jackass because he puts out such a “jackassy” publication.
- He puts an article in that publication entitled “Kent Roberts: Jackass or Cool Dude? The Debate Continues.” As if there is a debate! This is obvious jackass behavior, to be a jackass and to suggest that you might not be one.
- He writes jokingly about himself as a jackass, trying to somehow free himself from his cruel jackass fate through self-deprecatory humor. The moral: calling yourself a jackass does not make you any less of a jackass.
- Deconstructs his jackass piece, exhibiting a style of writing that can only be described as “jackass humor.”
- Uses the word “deconstructs” in his deconstruction.
Side 2: “Kent Is A Cool Dude.”
- Has long hair. There are a lot of cool people with long hair. Perhaps Kent is one of them.
- Sometimes smokes cigarettes. Most cool people sometimes smoke. Only jackasses never smoke.
Fuck it, this debate is so one-sided. I’m sitting here, trying to be objective and just lay out the points for each side, and I notice that the cool side makes a totally jackass comment (#2). So Kent is a jackass. I guess that’s too bad for Kent. Maybe someday he will become a cool dude. He doesn’t have much time though. Pretty soon he’ll start doing something with his life, and he’ll get in a daily grind and just be a “jackass doctor” or a “jackass postman” or whatever for the rest of his life. This article is written in the third person. That is so “jackass.” So is putting quotes around jackass. So is calling quotation marks quotes. So is drawing this out so much. So is ending it after this sentence.